December 26 has came and is almost gone. It is now a symbol that the great capitalist economic engine moves on after exploiting a holy day with its after-Christmas sales.
The Christmas music has stopped playing in retail stores, and the all-Christmas-music all-the-time format has given way to the regular Gen-X or light-rock rotations. I was almost embarrassed today when my kids were pressing practically all the Christmas music digital samples on a compact disc display in the Christmas section today of a store. I was sick of Christmas music, and I imagine others are too (although they will still be playing Christmas music at the "Feast of the Epiphany" mass).
The different discount retailers I had visited have slashed prices on the now passe' Christmas items--and most of the Christmas items are gone. They have started to put out New Years party items and over-the-counter diet pills and diet shake powders. I figure tomorrow they will start putting out Valentine items, and before you know it there will be Easter items.
There is the reality that no matter how you feel the world moves on. Yesterday may have been meaningful, empty, lonely, sad, tumulteous, enraging, or just plain dismal for you, but the media, economy, and the world are moving on. Some of us may still be licking our wounds, but the world is calling us to move on with it regardless of our pain or nostalgia.
What keeps us in the past?
We usually stay in the past when there is anger. We continue to dwell on the pain and abuse suffered at the hands of others. When we dwell on the anger, we usually are simultaneously angry at ourselves because we could have and should have done something to defend ourselves or defeat the scumbucket abuser. In this case to move out of the past there is the need to forgive ourselves and forgive the offender in order to stop wasting energy on the past.
Some do continue to be nostalgic and dwell on how the past was better than the present. Given the current recession and high unemployment rate, this is not unreasonable. The author of Ecclesiastes noted thousands of years ago that people were doing this then too:
I think that we all get nostalgic at times when times are tough--it reminds us that things have been good for us and not all bad, but too much of it also keeps people in the past.
Nostalgia is an idealistic rememberance of the past that ignores that it had problems too. For example, I remember my now-dying grandmother being nostalgic in 1983 how cheap college tuition was during the great depression years, but the reality was that no one had much money and so supply had to reach down to demand when it came to pricing. Nostalgia also can spend way too much of our energy needed for today.
Things matter only as much as we let them
Whether yesterday was great or terrible, it will matter today and tomorrow as much as we let it matter. The amount of time we spend thinking about it and the intensity of emotion we allow show how much something or someone matters.
If we have been nursing a grudge for years, we have been investing a lot in the pain. Just beginning to forgive ourselves and our offenders is a grief process in itself. We have been putting so much of our time and resources feeling angry and thinking about what was done to us and researching (versus fantastizing) alternative options for revenge.
There comes a point in time where the hurt and pain becomes irrelevant to our situation. After so much passage of time the average person in our circles cannot relate to us when we talk about bitterness we have carried for so long. They cannot even begin to relate to the embarrassments or incidents or issues of 1978 or 1987 or even 1997. It goes back to things matter only as much as you let them matter today because they are only in your memory.
The Christmas music has stopped playing in retail stores, and the all-Christmas-music all-the-time format has given way to the regular Gen-X or light-rock rotations. I was almost embarrassed today when my kids were pressing practically all the Christmas music digital samples on a compact disc display in the Christmas section today of a store. I was sick of Christmas music, and I imagine others are too (although they will still be playing Christmas music at the "Feast of the Epiphany" mass).
The different discount retailers I had visited have slashed prices on the now passe' Christmas items--and most of the Christmas items are gone. They have started to put out New Years party items and over-the-counter diet pills and diet shake powders. I figure tomorrow they will start putting out Valentine items, and before you know it there will be Easter items.
There is the reality that no matter how you feel the world moves on. Yesterday may have been meaningful, empty, lonely, sad, tumulteous, enraging, or just plain dismal for you, but the media, economy, and the world are moving on. Some of us may still be licking our wounds, but the world is calling us to move on with it regardless of our pain or nostalgia.
What keeps us in the past?
We usually stay in the past when there is anger. We continue to dwell on the pain and abuse suffered at the hands of others. When we dwell on the anger, we usually are simultaneously angry at ourselves because we could have and should have done something to defend ourselves or defeat the scumbucket abuser. In this case to move out of the past there is the need to forgive ourselves and forgive the offender in order to stop wasting energy on the past.
Some do continue to be nostalgic and dwell on how the past was better than the present. Given the current recession and high unemployment rate, this is not unreasonable. The author of Ecclesiastes noted thousands of years ago that people were doing this then too:
Do not say, “Why were the old days better than these?”
For it is not wise to ask such questions. (Ecclesiastes 7:10) (NIV)
For it is not wise to ask such questions. (Ecclesiastes 7:10) (NIV)
I think that we all get nostalgic at times when times are tough--it reminds us that things have been good for us and not all bad, but too much of it also keeps people in the past.
Nostalgia is an idealistic rememberance of the past that ignores that it had problems too. For example, I remember my now-dying grandmother being nostalgic in 1983 how cheap college tuition was during the great depression years, but the reality was that no one had much money and so supply had to reach down to demand when it came to pricing. Nostalgia also can spend way too much of our energy needed for today.
Things matter only as much as we let them
Whether yesterday was great or terrible, it will matter today and tomorrow as much as we let it matter. The amount of time we spend thinking about it and the intensity of emotion we allow show how much something or someone matters.
If we have been nursing a grudge for years, we have been investing a lot in the pain. Just beginning to forgive ourselves and our offenders is a grief process in itself. We have been putting so much of our time and resources feeling angry and thinking about what was done to us and researching (versus fantastizing) alternative options for revenge.
There comes a point in time where the hurt and pain becomes irrelevant to our situation. After so much passage of time the average person in our circles cannot relate to us when we talk about bitterness we have carried for so long. They cannot even begin to relate to the embarrassments or incidents or issues of 1978 or 1987 or even 1997. It goes back to things matter only as much as you let them matter today because they are only in your memory.
Well, I have to move on too. I am thinking to the future, and my next posts will relate to the future.
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