As a school kid and a college student I was excited for the holidays. I was looking forward to getting out of school for the holidays. The race was essentially over and it was vacation.
As a working adult, the game is different. There are demands on me to continue working and make appearances at different holiday gatherings. With four or five days until Christmas (depending how you count it) I found myself feeling tired and glad that the Christmas Season is almost over.
I still have Christmas shopping to do. I am not exactly feeling the pressure yet given that I will have the weekend before Monday at dusk when all the malls and stores will close. I found myself feeling a certain grind.
In a post from last year I equated the holidays to be like a hurricane. Many of us are all in a hurry to get everything we need and go home and lock ourselves in our homes until December 25 passes. In that case there isn't a sense of grind . . . there is a sense of pressure.
What We Need Versus What we Think we Need
I have decided that the feeling of of hurricane preparedness comes with the expectation of how your Christmas should be. We want to have everything that we need . . . or think that we should need.
While we as human beings all have the same physical needs, we have many individual differences that distinguish what you need versus what I need. For example, an introvert needs privacy while an extrovert needs to be around people. A baby needs to be cuddled with while a teenager needs increased boundaries. A child needs to play while an adult needs to work.
I am leaning to the idea that the more we are focused on making something perfect, the more we pile into the "need" category. "Need" is really a subjective concept. Perfectionism tends to breed anxiety and anxiety tends to create a sense of more need.
Getting to Okay
"Okay" or "Ok" is not perfect, but it is "all right." With being okay, things are satisfactory. We have what we need. We may not be in a sense of perfect peace but we are not in despair.
How do we determine if we are okay? I think that a good place to start is asking the question:
I think that we usually are missing one or two things at the holidays. We tend to be able to make due with the one or two missing things and we can look at the good and not dwell on the missing items.
If we are stuck in a fit of perfectionism we can make the missing seem like things are a disaster.
However being okay generally does mean that we are in a good emotional place and not a bad emotional place if something is missing.
Closing Thoughts
Being "ok" has a wide range of meaning. It is neither perfect nor a disaster. It is an individual matter. You and I have a choice.
I hope that things will be at least "okay" for you.
By the way, feel free to go back to the older posts to find something that may fit your needs today. I am a therapist who likes to write and I hope I have something to offer you. If you want me to write on a subject (or at least try), feel free to make a comment that includes your request.
As a working adult, the game is different. There are demands on me to continue working and make appearances at different holiday gatherings. With four or five days until Christmas (depending how you count it) I found myself feeling tired and glad that the Christmas Season is almost over.
I still have Christmas shopping to do. I am not exactly feeling the pressure yet given that I will have the weekend before Monday at dusk when all the malls and stores will close. I found myself feeling a certain grind.
In a post from last year I equated the holidays to be like a hurricane. Many of us are all in a hurry to get everything we need and go home and lock ourselves in our homes until December 25 passes. In that case there isn't a sense of grind . . . there is a sense of pressure.
What We Need Versus What we Think we Need
I have decided that the feeling of of hurricane preparedness comes with the expectation of how your Christmas should be. We want to have everything that we need . . . or think that we should need.
While we as human beings all have the same physical needs, we have many individual differences that distinguish what you need versus what I need. For example, an introvert needs privacy while an extrovert needs to be around people. A baby needs to be cuddled with while a teenager needs increased boundaries. A child needs to play while an adult needs to work.
I am leaning to the idea that the more we are focused on making something perfect, the more we pile into the "need" category. "Need" is really a subjective concept. Perfectionism tends to breed anxiety and anxiety tends to create a sense of more need.
Getting to Okay
"Okay" or "Ok" is not perfect, but it is "all right." With being okay, things are satisfactory. We have what we need. We may not be in a sense of perfect peace but we are not in despair.
How do we determine if we are okay? I think that a good place to start is asking the question:
Will it be a total disaster if something is missing?
I think that we usually are missing one or two things at the holidays. We tend to be able to make due with the one or two missing things and we can look at the good and not dwell on the missing items.
If we are stuck in a fit of perfectionism we can make the missing seem like things are a disaster.
However being okay generally does mean that we are in a good emotional place and not a bad emotional place if something is missing.
Closing Thoughts
Being "ok" has a wide range of meaning. It is neither perfect nor a disaster. It is an individual matter. You and I have a choice.
I hope that things will be at least "okay" for you.
By the way, feel free to go back to the older posts to find something that may fit your needs today. I am a therapist who likes to write and I hope I have something to offer you. If you want me to write on a subject (or at least try), feel free to make a comment that includes your request.
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