Christmas as we know it is a feast. It is made out to be an extravaganza. It is after all, as the late Andy Williams iconically sang "the most wonderful time of the year." I have decided that for some it may be intimidating . . . I'm kind of feeling it.
Tonight is a Christmas banquet at our church. I have previously avoided going to this dinner for various reasons. Since I happen to be on the Deacon Council I was recruited to buy a table and invite some new church members to be my guests.
However, one of the other deacons who appeared to have sympathy for me told my wife that she would decorate it (we have women deacons at my church--no apologies). Yesterday, we were not sure if she followed through. Well, she followed through and she made the table look as extravagant as a charity gala that guests pay $1000 per table to attend.
While my wife and I are thankful, I speak for both of us to say that we are intimidated, which brings us to the subject of this blog. Christmas and the holidays appear to have become vehicles for showing off your status and wealth, or maybe your pretentiousness.
The Meaning of the Word
Pretentiousness--being or trying to look like something you are not--is a a human temptation. In our search for self-esteem, we may act like something we are not under the guise of "fake it until you make it."
It seems to me that many of us are frustrated that we do not have what we believe we should have. Many of our bosses and professors were abusive and stupid and held us back from graduation dates and promotions we felt we were entitled to. We suffer from having to work for cronies and younger proteges who actually know less than us. We have been abused and we hurt and one our responses is pretentiousness to soothe our bruised egos.
However, pretentiousness in the end will likely lead to disaster or a breakdown. It seems that in the United States the complaint year after year is credit card debt where people will buy stuff (and I do mean stuff) beyond their means and will spend most of the year paying off the balances. I have seen a number of people on the narcissistic side who bluster and bloviate and after awhile are rightly recognized to be all flash and no substance . . . and no character.
Regardless, there is such a temptation in the United States to present as more than you are. Sometimes people feel they have to be pretentious to get ahead in life. They will buy cars, homes, and clothes beyond their means. Divorces and bankruptcies are often the humiliating consequences from trying to be more than you are.
Humility Now or Humiliation Later
As I think about the matter of pretentiousness, I am called to be honest with myself and surrender to the truth. Life is going to be painful at times when you do not have what you think you should have. Other people are going to have more than the rest of us. Most of us are never going to be part of high society, and we will watch them in the society papers and on the red carpets smile in their fashion and formal wear.
Reaching a state of contentment may often take a grieving process. We may cry that we do not have what we think we should have. We may deal with anger over and over again at those people who we believe are the criminals in our past who cheated us out of what we felt we were entitled to. We may be angry at those family members who favored others over us. We may cry and feel stuck. We hopefully can feel our feelings, put the grudges and sour grapes in the cellars and closets of our minds and get on with life.
Coming Back to the Idea of Christmas.
We come to this holiday as we are. We come with our feelings and expectations. We often feel complications in our emotions--after all, life is complicated suffering. We often wonder where God is when we are feeling so miserable and complicated--I ofter that God is still present.
Christmas in its essence requires only one gift. It is the gift of God to the world of life. One of my "Facebook" friends (who is also a professional, stand-up comedian) posted yesterday that he did not believe that God is 100 percent pro-life because Jesus came to earth on a "death mission." I think that my friend stopped a little short in his analysis as Jesus did not just merely come to die, but also to be resurrected and live again and defeat death for us. This gift just has to be received through belief.
Regardless of what we do not have and who we are not, God loved us by giving us the greatest gift of Jesus. Jesus was born in a barn and his cradle was a feeding trough. It is a gift worth anything more than what is in the mall, and we do not not have to buy it.
However, despite the gift of life, it is still difficult at times to fight pretentiousness because we are still in human bodies. It will probably always be a fight because we are human.
Tonight is a Christmas banquet at our church. I have previously avoided going to this dinner for various reasons. Since I happen to be on the Deacon Council I was recruited to buy a table and invite some new church members to be my guests.
However, one of the other deacons who appeared to have sympathy for me told my wife that she would decorate it (we have women deacons at my church--no apologies). Yesterday, we were not sure if she followed through. Well, she followed through and she made the table look as extravagant as a charity gala that guests pay $1000 per table to attend.
While my wife and I are thankful, I speak for both of us to say that we are intimidated, which brings us to the subject of this blog. Christmas and the holidays appear to have become vehicles for showing off your status and wealth, or maybe your pretentiousness.
The Meaning of the Word
Pretentiousness--being or trying to look like something you are not--is a a human temptation. In our search for self-esteem, we may act like something we are not under the guise of "fake it until you make it."
It seems to me that many of us are frustrated that we do not have what we believe we should have. Many of our bosses and professors were abusive and stupid and held us back from graduation dates and promotions we felt we were entitled to. We suffer from having to work for cronies and younger proteges who actually know less than us. We have been abused and we hurt and one our responses is pretentiousness to soothe our bruised egos.
However, pretentiousness in the end will likely lead to disaster or a breakdown. It seems that in the United States the complaint year after year is credit card debt where people will buy stuff (and I do mean stuff) beyond their means and will spend most of the year paying off the balances. I have seen a number of people on the narcissistic side who bluster and bloviate and after awhile are rightly recognized to be all flash and no substance . . . and no character.
Regardless, there is such a temptation in the United States to present as more than you are. Sometimes people feel they have to be pretentious to get ahead in life. They will buy cars, homes, and clothes beyond their means. Divorces and bankruptcies are often the humiliating consequences from trying to be more than you are.
Humility Now or Humiliation Later
As I think about the matter of pretentiousness, I am called to be honest with myself and surrender to the truth. Life is going to be painful at times when you do not have what you think you should have. Other people are going to have more than the rest of us. Most of us are never going to be part of high society, and we will watch them in the society papers and on the red carpets smile in their fashion and formal wear.
Reaching a state of contentment may often take a grieving process. We may cry that we do not have what we think we should have. We may deal with anger over and over again at those people who we believe are the criminals in our past who cheated us out of what we felt we were entitled to. We may be angry at those family members who favored others over us. We may cry and feel stuck. We hopefully can feel our feelings, put the grudges and sour grapes in the cellars and closets of our minds and get on with life.
Coming Back to the Idea of Christmas.
We come to this holiday as we are. We come with our feelings and expectations. We often feel complications in our emotions--after all, life is complicated suffering. We often wonder where God is when we are feeling so miserable and complicated--I ofter that God is still present.
Christmas in its essence requires only one gift. It is the gift of God to the world of life. One of my "Facebook" friends (who is also a professional, stand-up comedian) posted yesterday that he did not believe that God is 100 percent pro-life because Jesus came to earth on a "death mission." I think that my friend stopped a little short in his analysis as Jesus did not just merely come to die, but also to be resurrected and live again and defeat death for us. This gift just has to be received through belief.
Regardless of what we do not have and who we are not, God loved us by giving us the greatest gift of Jesus. Jesus was born in a barn and his cradle was a feeding trough. It is a gift worth anything more than what is in the mall, and we do not not have to buy it.
However, despite the gift of life, it is still difficult at times to fight pretentiousness because we are still in human bodies. It will probably always be a fight because we are human.
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