We have a lot of feelings every day. The feelings vary from negative to bland to positive. The feelings get worse for many at the holiday season.
I think as we approach the holiday season we are likely to have more negative feelings in part due to the lack of sunlight on top of the feelings of inadequacy and emptiness. I wonder how many people have "Seasonal Affective Disorder" (SAD) in addition to having a negative view of the holidays. I think that some people benefit from medication to treat SAD and that they do better. (If you cannot get into seeing a psychiatrist on short notice, you could go to your regular physician to explore if this could work for you.)
I think that during the holiday season there will always be the temptation to let your mind wander and be anxious and depressed. We get the temptation from the messages, sights, and sounds of Christmas.
TV and radio commercials throw out the subliminal and not-so subtle messages that if you do not do what they suggest, your Christmas is going to stink. TV commercials also paint scenes of happy families giving each other really cool gifts that you probably can't afford to get and are not going to afford to give. Furthermore, if these hurt, you are probably mindful that your family members cannot stand to be in the same room with each other.
We also hear the same secular Christmas carols and religious carols suggest that we should feel fulfilled and happy and that all should be right because it is Christmas. After all one of the sounds of the season is Andy Williams singing "It's the most wonderful time of the year." It is especially worse because Toyota has bought the song and converted it to "It's the most wonderful sale of the year." I expect to hear "Jingle Bell Rock" about 200 or more times.
It is impossible to escape from the sights, sounds and smells of Christmas. Every locale is going to have some Holiday item or decoration. The possibility for pain is everywhere.
If someone lets their mind wander, they risk letting their thoughts go to the worse possible situations and think nothing but the worst thoughts. They have the potential to maximize their distress possible over how their holiday is terrible and that all is meaningless and that all is futile. Throw in some alcohol and the judgment goes down the tube.
For us who have a problem with the holiday season, I think that it becomes a series of some very simple and basic choices. I think that those choices are about how we are going to feel.
Throughout history humans have had the tendency to let their thoughts wander all over the place. All of the different religious traditions have a lot to offer in the way of exhortations and suggestions of how to control what one thinks. However, people still have the problems with negative thoughts.
I think that it happens a lot at bedtime when the day is winding down and the worries of the day and night come crashing like a wave. Many people dwell on things that they cannot change or do anything about at bedtime. When this happens, people get depressed and anxious and often develop insomnia.
Taking control of thoughts
In the book Your Erroneous Zones Wayne Dyer discussed something of what I believe is a "Syllogism." It is as follows:
If feelings come from our thoughts, I think coping through the holiday seasons means making lots of little choices about what we think every day. I think that the possibilities of choices are endless. We can be creative in how we focus our minds on healthy thoughts and subjects.
I have thought of some alternatives that could be useful:
1) Get yourself a number of non-holiday audio books and listen to them on your MP3 player.
2) Check out or get some non-christmas music of your favorite genre or a different genre.
3) Get yourself involved in some private projects that have nothing to do with the holidays.
These types of alternatives take your mind someplace constructive. They help you think about things other than your holiday blues. They are not perfect, but if they help you control your mind in thinking about something other than the holiday, you will have had some success.
Tomorrow, I plan to discuss going one step beyond thoughts and feelings and look at "meaning."
I think as we approach the holiday season we are likely to have more negative feelings in part due to the lack of sunlight on top of the feelings of inadequacy and emptiness. I wonder how many people have "Seasonal Affective Disorder" (SAD) in addition to having a negative view of the holidays. I think that some people benefit from medication to treat SAD and that they do better. (If you cannot get into seeing a psychiatrist on short notice, you could go to your regular physician to explore if this could work for you.)
I think that during the holiday season there will always be the temptation to let your mind wander and be anxious and depressed. We get the temptation from the messages, sights, and sounds of Christmas.
TV and radio commercials throw out the subliminal and not-so subtle messages that if you do not do what they suggest, your Christmas is going to stink. TV commercials also paint scenes of happy families giving each other really cool gifts that you probably can't afford to get and are not going to afford to give. Furthermore, if these hurt, you are probably mindful that your family members cannot stand to be in the same room with each other.
We also hear the same secular Christmas carols and religious carols suggest that we should feel fulfilled and happy and that all should be right because it is Christmas. After all one of the sounds of the season is Andy Williams singing "It's the most wonderful time of the year." It is especially worse because Toyota has bought the song and converted it to "It's the most wonderful sale of the year." I expect to hear "Jingle Bell Rock" about 200 or more times.
It is impossible to escape from the sights, sounds and smells of Christmas. Every locale is going to have some Holiday item or decoration. The possibility for pain is everywhere.
If someone lets their mind wander, they risk letting their thoughts go to the worse possible situations and think nothing but the worst thoughts. They have the potential to maximize their distress possible over how their holiday is terrible and that all is meaningless and that all is futile. Throw in some alcohol and the judgment goes down the tube.
For us who have a problem with the holiday season, I think that it becomes a series of some very simple and basic choices. I think that those choices are about how we are going to feel.
Throughout history humans have had the tendency to let their thoughts wander all over the place. All of the different religious traditions have a lot to offer in the way of exhortations and suggestions of how to control what one thinks. However, people still have the problems with negative thoughts.
I think that it happens a lot at bedtime when the day is winding down and the worries of the day and night come crashing like a wave. Many people dwell on things that they cannot change or do anything about at bedtime. When this happens, people get depressed and anxious and often develop insomnia.
Taking control of thoughts
In the book Your Erroneous Zones Wayne Dyer discussed something of what I believe is a "Syllogism." It is as follows:
My feelings come from my thoughts.
I can control my thoughts.
Therefore I can control my feelings.
If feelings come from our thoughts, I think coping through the holiday seasons means making lots of little choices about what we think every day. I think that the possibilities of choices are endless. We can be creative in how we focus our minds on healthy thoughts and subjects.
I have thought of some alternatives that could be useful:
1) Get yourself a number of non-holiday audio books and listen to them on your MP3 player.
2) Check out or get some non-christmas music of your favorite genre or a different genre.
3) Get yourself involved in some private projects that have nothing to do with the holidays.
These types of alternatives take your mind someplace constructive. They help you think about things other than your holiday blues. They are not perfect, but if they help you control your mind in thinking about something other than the holiday, you will have had some success.
Tomorrow, I plan to discuss going one step beyond thoughts and feelings and look at "meaning."
No comments:
Post a Comment