Today was the lighting of the peace candle on the Advent wreath at my church. I was actually standing at a door to greet people coming in so I missed it.
Peace is a subject that varies in interest from year to year. There are different years when people seek peace more than others.
I think that the world as a whole has never had peace. There has always been a war or conflict somewhere between people groups or nations.
National and inner peace are blessings. People do not seem to appreciate peace when they have it.
National Peace
Here in the United States there does not seem to be an emphasis on peace as much as there has been in recent years. Here in the United States, there is more focus on jobs and the economy and the different "occupy" demonstrations around the country. That is curious to me given that the United States has essentially been engaged in war activities for the past decade after the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks.
The United States has been blessed overall as a nation for the past 146 years not to have had war within its geopolitical borders since the Civil War ended in 1865. The exceptions have been the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, Hawaii 70 years ago on December 7, 1941 and then nine-eleven/9-11. While the US has been engaged in some kind of war for nearly the past 10 years, the war has typically been across the ocean or outside of US borders. I think that many people do not appreciate the peace that we have within the country and the peace that we have with our two bordering neighbors Canada and Mexico.
The peace was not always perfect. There was a 45-year "Cold War" of tension or nerves between 1946 and 1991 between the former Soviet Union and United States over who was going to push the button first. The Korean and Vietnam Wars actually could be called puppet wars given that both the USA and USSR supplied materiel and personnel in both conflicts. Overall, many fretted over the nuclear threat, and it seemed that olympic competitions between USSR and USA athletes were symbolic in suggesting which was the better country (especially the 1980 Lake Placid US Hockey Team). Occasional "Fallout Shelters"signs can be seen as artifacts where people could have gone in case the button was pushed.
The United States seemed to become complacent between 1991 and 2001 and lost an appreciation of peace until Osama Bin Laden and his Al Qaeda Network used fully-fueled airliners as bombs that one Tuesday in September. After the attacks Bin Laden even continued his taunts that the U.S. would only dream of peace. Now that Bin Laden is dead and at the bottom of the sea, I wonder how much we appreciate the added sense of peace? (Not so fast, Al Qaeda is busy in Africa giving out money and candy to recruit.)
Inner Peace
Inner peace has been more elusive for people than national and international peace. After being in the field of mental health, I have concluded that there are both religious and non-religious people who will never have inner peace even if it hit them in the face because they do not have an understanding of what it is and how to practice it . . . nor are they willing to begin to practice it.
I think that inner peace essentially means not having anxiety and having contentment. Some web sources use the terms inner-harmony and balance. I think that it is not a tangible state or something that you hold in your hands, but it is a combination of perspective and practice that you and I engage in.
I think that a person who demonstates inner peace is able to be still and sit still most of the time. A person with inner peace has perspective as to the larger picture. A person with inner peace is able to be calmer when a problem occurs.
Notice, I said "calmer" because there are going to be days when the person with inner peace is going to have a bad day with crises and stress and tension. A person with inner peace is still human with faults and limits.
The absence of inner peace
People who do not demonstrate inner peace are always tense and cannot sit still. They talk about what they hate and what they are bothered about all the time. The imperfections in things around them bug them. They worry and make it clear that they worry. They justify their worry as it being a family trait.
I remember an experience where I was conducting a therapy group and putting some drink powder in my water bottle. It clumped up at the bottom, and a patient across the room expressed distress and irritation about it. I had a big lesson about inner peace--that patient did not have it--it was my bottle of water and it was not hurting her.
Many people who are big-time worriers are also survivors. They keep their worry to themselves and they will often somatize their feelings, which means more headaches and stomachaches.
People who also lack inner peace tend regularly to engage in different negative thought patterns that include:
When I was in seminary, I admired a classmate by the name of Tim. Tim was able to sit down and take his break and be quiet. I had a difficult time sitting and being quiet at that time.
Of course, I saw different Bible passages such as
and of course Isaiah 9:6-7
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given,
http://rbc.org/personal-relationship-with-god/
Mind you, there are many who would identify themselves as Christians who have a personal relationship with God, but they do not have a sense of inner peace. I have known lots of anxious people in churches who appear to be at anything but peace--I have been among them in the past.
Anyway, I began to ask myself, how I could be more like Tim? It has been a long journey in practicing peace inside of me. Of course I have been a person of faith for most of my life, but I had found myself always being stirred inside--I had so much going on inside my brain and I struggled with what was and was not a waste of time.
I think that developing inner peace also includes changing what you do to practice a sense of faith. Faith is what takes over when your knowledge stops. I think that developing a sense of inner peace aside from religious faith means changing to practice a philosophy that includes:
In light of that, I have came to appreciate the 12-steps programs emphasis of "one day at a time" and their emphasis of the Reinhold Niebuhr's Serenity Prayer (primarily the first part) :
The Serenity Prayer is a way that helps people focus on stuff like the list. I am aware that many people in recovery from addictions and codependency pray the Serenity Prayer many times a day when they are anxious or in emotional pain and it does help. They are practicing serenity as they need to while living their lives.
Wrapping it up:
Christmas in itself does not guarantee that you are going to have peace. In a theological sense while Jesus Christ gives a peace that the world does not give, it is still up to believers to accept the peace and practice it. As the holiday season has evolved into a commercial spectacle, it has told people more than not is that they are supposed to have peace, but there is little to no answer on getting.
Some people never really practice faith in a way that gives them inner peace. They want to control instead of admitting and surrendering that they cannot control and are a human being. They continue to be in pain over the way they continue to act the way they do, but they remain a slave to it.
There are a few lucky ones who seem to automatically seem to have peace inside of them. The rest of us who want it have to practice it.
Tomorrow, as a continued exploration of peace, I plan to expand on the matter of regrets.
Peace is a subject that varies in interest from year to year. There are different years when people seek peace more than others.
I think that the world as a whole has never had peace. There has always been a war or conflict somewhere between people groups or nations.
National and inner peace are blessings. People do not seem to appreciate peace when they have it.
National Peace
Here in the United States there does not seem to be an emphasis on peace as much as there has been in recent years. Here in the United States, there is more focus on jobs and the economy and the different "occupy" demonstrations around the country. That is curious to me given that the United States has essentially been engaged in war activities for the past decade after the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks.
The United States has been blessed overall as a nation for the past 146 years not to have had war within its geopolitical borders since the Civil War ended in 1865. The exceptions have been the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, Hawaii 70 years ago on December 7, 1941 and then nine-eleven/9-11. While the US has been engaged in some kind of war for nearly the past 10 years, the war has typically been across the ocean or outside of US borders. I think that many people do not appreciate the peace that we have within the country and the peace that we have with our two bordering neighbors Canada and Mexico.
The peace was not always perfect. There was a 45-year "Cold War" of tension or nerves between 1946 and 1991 between the former Soviet Union and United States over who was going to push the button first. The Korean and Vietnam Wars actually could be called puppet wars given that both the USA and USSR supplied materiel and personnel in both conflicts. Overall, many fretted over the nuclear threat, and it seemed that olympic competitions between USSR and USA athletes were symbolic in suggesting which was the better country (especially the 1980 Lake Placid US Hockey Team). Occasional "Fallout Shelters"signs can be seen as artifacts where people could have gone in case the button was pushed.
The United States seemed to become complacent between 1991 and 2001 and lost an appreciation of peace until Osama Bin Laden and his Al Qaeda Network used fully-fueled airliners as bombs that one Tuesday in September. After the attacks Bin Laden even continued his taunts that the U.S. would only dream of peace. Now that Bin Laden is dead and at the bottom of the sea, I wonder how much we appreciate the added sense of peace? (Not so fast, Al Qaeda is busy in Africa giving out money and candy to recruit.)
Inner Peace
Inner peace has been more elusive for people than national and international peace. After being in the field of mental health, I have concluded that there are both religious and non-religious people who will never have inner peace even if it hit them in the face because they do not have an understanding of what it is and how to practice it . . . nor are they willing to begin to practice it.
I think that inner peace essentially means not having anxiety and having contentment. Some web sources use the terms inner-harmony and balance. I think that it is not a tangible state or something that you hold in your hands, but it is a combination of perspective and practice that you and I engage in.
I think that a person who demonstates inner peace is able to be still and sit still most of the time. A person with inner peace has perspective as to the larger picture. A person with inner peace is able to be calmer when a problem occurs.
Notice, I said "calmer" because there are going to be days when the person with inner peace is going to have a bad day with crises and stress and tension. A person with inner peace is still human with faults and limits.
The absence of inner peace
People who do not demonstrate inner peace are always tense and cannot sit still. They talk about what they hate and what they are bothered about all the time. The imperfections in things around them bug them. They worry and make it clear that they worry. They justify their worry as it being a family trait.
I remember an experience where I was conducting a therapy group and putting some drink powder in my water bottle. It clumped up at the bottom, and a patient across the room expressed distress and irritation about it. I had a big lesson about inner peace--that patient did not have it--it was my bottle of water and it was not hurting her.
Many people who are big-time worriers are also survivors. They keep their worry to themselves and they will often somatize their feelings, which means more headaches and stomachaches.
People who also lack inner peace tend regularly to engage in different negative thought patterns that include:
- People Pleasing (including trying to please the grouches in your family)
- Walking on Eggshells
- Believing that they cause the feelings of others
- Caretaking and rescuing
- Catastrophizing (everything will turn out for the worst)
- All or nothing thinking
- Dwelling on the past (primarily hurts and failures)
- Perfectionism
- Personalizing and inappropriately taking responsibility for the problems of others
- Believing that you should always be doing something.
- Believing that you should always be doing it better
When I was in seminary, I admired a classmate by the name of Tim. Tim was able to sit down and take his break and be quiet. I had a difficult time sitting and being quiet at that time.
Of course, I saw different Bible passages such as
- John 16:33
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (NIV)
- Psalm 29:11
the LORD blesses his people with peace. (NIV)
and of course Isaiah 9:6-7
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
I do believe that there is a peace to be gained in having a personal relationship with God by placing your faith in Jesus Christ. If you want to read more about it, go to this link or URL: http://rbc.org/personal-relationship-with-god/
Mind you, there are many who would identify themselves as Christians who have a personal relationship with God, but they do not have a sense of inner peace. I have known lots of anxious people in churches who appear to be at anything but peace--I have been among them in the past.
Anyway, I began to ask myself, how I could be more like Tim? It has been a long journey in practicing peace inside of me. Of course I have been a person of faith for most of my life, but I had found myself always being stirred inside--I had so much going on inside my brain and I struggled with what was and was not a waste of time.
I think that developing inner peace also includes changing what you do to practice a sense of faith. Faith is what takes over when your knowledge stops. I think that developing a sense of inner peace aside from religious faith means changing to practice a philosophy that includes:
- Surrendering to the reality that everyone has limits (especially you)
- Sitting still and resting is required to be able to do things well
- You have to take care of yourself too.
- You cannot please a grouch--they enjoy being grouchy.
- Everyone is responsible for their own feelings--you do not make anyone worried or angry
- You decide if you are going to worry or get angry.
- Help if you can, but allow others to fail
- The worst rarely happens
- Things are neither all bad or all good
- Dwelling on your past hurts and failures rarely helps you be better today
- Very few if anything is perfect in this world
- You can only be responsible so much
- There is only so much analysis that is worthwhile and usuable--too much analysis becomes worry about stuff outside of your control.
- The control that you and I have only is in the moment and is over what we do.
In light of that, I have came to appreciate the 12-steps programs emphasis of "one day at a time" and their emphasis of the Reinhold Niebuhr's Serenity Prayer (primarily the first part) :
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
The Serenity Prayer is a way that helps people focus on stuff like the list. I am aware that many people in recovery from addictions and codependency pray the Serenity Prayer many times a day when they are anxious or in emotional pain and it does help. They are practicing serenity as they need to while living their lives.
Wrapping it up:
Christmas in itself does not guarantee that you are going to have peace. In a theological sense while Jesus Christ gives a peace that the world does not give, it is still up to believers to accept the peace and practice it. As the holiday season has evolved into a commercial spectacle, it has told people more than not is that they are supposed to have peace, but there is little to no answer on getting.
Some people never really practice faith in a way that gives them inner peace. They want to control instead of admitting and surrendering that they cannot control and are a human being. They continue to be in pain over the way they continue to act the way they do, but they remain a slave to it.
There are a few lucky ones who seem to automatically seem to have peace inside of them. The rest of us who want it have to practice it.
Tomorrow, as a continued exploration of peace, I plan to expand on the matter of regrets.
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