The Perfect Christmas—the advertised delusion

Many people become depressed at the holidays because Christmas is not going to be perfect.  A lot of the material on holiday stress says to lower your expectations on Christmas and the holidays.  Despite all of the different material, I have read on the internet and in books, overcoming the sadness that Christmas is not going to be perfect is a tough one to beat.  It goes back to my metaphor that the holiday season is like a hurricane—you can’t get away from it.

The advertised delusion

In the cultures that celebrate Christmas, there tends to be an intense brainwashing campaign by the retail and advertising industries to get you to buy at Christmas.  At face-value the advertising sends warm emotional sentiments and images.  The advertising connects those warm sentiments to the advertised products and services.  If sexual attraction messages can be mixed in, you can be sure that they will mix them in

What makes the Christmas commercial even more sticky is that they use Christmas songs.  The tempos and arrangements are more intense as if to give a burst of energy for the 30 seconds.  Warmer sounding tones like bells are also used for that apparent magic sound.  The advertisers are intelligent in how they go all out to get you to buy.

There are at least three types of TV commercials that I have seen each year that rub salt into emotional wounds perhaps to the point of nausea.  These are the happy family, the great holiday party, and the faux meaningful morning.

The first nauseating TV commercial is the happy family on Christmas morning in their fashionable robes and pajamas with hair that does not look like they just got out of bed, opening up each gift with a look of surprise.   Opening up the gifts bought from that department store is made to look like the happiest time of their lives.  Everyone gets what they want?  Only for the camera.  

The second most nauseating TV commercial is the happy holiday party.  There are a bunch of skinny people gathered around enjoying beautiful and tasty-looking food.  These people look like they can eat anything.  This is where the "sexy" is thrown into the advertising mix.

Of course there are the meaningful commercials at Christmas.  There were two different coffee brands where an adult son comes home for Christmas at the last moment.  The adult son sneaks in, makes a pot of fresh coffee, and the aroma of brewing coffee wafts through the house as part of the beautiful moment.  The son's mother gets out of bed with hair that looks nearly perfect.  The impression that advertisers want to make is that a buying a can of the coffee is going to make your Christmas fulfilled.

Repetition: the brain-washing effect: You need whatever they are selling!

Advertisers know what they are doing.  They are sophisticated in their use of psychology, and they are effective.

Christmas commercials are repeated over and over again on TV and Radio for weeks.  They are on at all times of the day.   The volume tends to be louder than the TV show when they are on TV.   You just cannot get away from the commercials and they can break you down.

If something is repeated enough, it is believed.  What advertisers want you to believe is that you need to buy the advertised product or service.  Advertising creates some sense of a need and then portrays the product as a way of meeting that need.

The unintended effect: feelings of inadequacy and depression

For many of us with financial limits and dysfunctional families, we know well that we are not going to be able to afford most of the products being advertised.  We also see that our family is not going to be together on Christmas for whatever reason.  The commercials merely remind us repeatedly of us problems and inadequacies.  

Coping with the commercials

If the holiday commercials are bringing you down, I think that the coping strategy is going to require multiple techniques. I think that the drastic ones include:

1.)    Reduce the amount of TV you watch or stop watching it. 

      2.)    Listen more to MP3 and recorded music than to radio stations.

      3.)    Read books as opposed to watching TV.

I think the less drastic strategies are:

1.)    Only watch TV shows you have previously recorded and speed through the commercials

2.)    Consider listening to radio stations that have not gone to Christmas music formats.

I think that the standard strategies like telling yourself it is okay that Christmas is not going to be perfect does work, but that you often have to tell it to yourself over and over again because you will get the negative messages on a constant basis. My criticism of a lot of the books is that they don't discuss how intense you may have to be in using these slogans or affirmations.  You may have to put signs up around the house to remind yourself.

Sarcastic joking helps too.  One of my favorite jokes in the past that I have liked to make is a countdown such as: Only 18 days until Walmart is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Also, I am thinking about posting this on my Facebook page:

There are only 18 days until 106.9 FM goes back to playing the usual soft rock and if I hear one more remake of Wham’s Last Christmas, I am going to vomit.

Lastly, I think that a faith-based or religious strategy could be helpful.  I think that saying daily prayers and reading an Advent reader or lectionary such as the Book of Common Prayer could be of benefit to focus thoughts and perspective.  I emphasize that this is a daily activity.

Tomorrow, I will look a the struggle for faith and meaning at Christmas--or maybe just try to start the struggle.