Today was a very challenging day. It was hectic in terms of handling some personal matters and it was hectic at my job at a psychiatric hospital. I also started thinking about finally getting out there and buying Christmas presents. Going back to bed sounded like a good idea but I was almost to my work.
Tonight we put up the Christmas tree. I was tired as I rooted around the attic in my garage looking for the plastic tubs. I put up the crumpled, artificial Christmas tree and did my best to get the lights hooked up. I found myself feeling apathy because I did not care to look in the tubs at the different ornaments we had. I found myself saying : at least the kids were enjoying it.
As I reflect tonight, I find myself doing a Zig Ziglar "check-up from the neck-up." I have said to myself: "Where is your head."
As I have noted elsewhere the pace of life for the average person in the western hemisphere is intense and hectic. It is especially so for those living in urban areas. We spend a lot of time commuting in cramped subways, trains and buses or we are stuck in heavy traffic. We are pressured to do more with less at our jobs. We have information coming at us from all directions that requires our response. We get worn out and burned out and many of us value the weekend to get caught up on our personal matters and business. Our heads are often tired from all of the intensity.
Then let us top if off with all of the holiday events and expectations. We have to spend money on gifts to show we care. We have to go to Christmas events to be sociable. Combine the additional holiday stuff with our usual intense life and we are overwhelmed and probably think that going back to bed sounds even more attractive.
Let us kick it up another notch. What if you are not feeling particularly joyful and happy this Christmas due to grief or loss? What if you are feeling the guilt because your money and credit is tight and you cannot buy the type of presents the way you want to? Going back to bed sounds even more attractive but it is not exactly a healthy coping skill.
Silence
In light of that, one of my favorite coping skills or coping activities in this time of year is sitting in silence and doing nothing. While it does not solve the problems, I have found that a time of silence and stillness can be soothing.
The problem is that it requires you to actually sit and be still. Sitting still can be a challenge because the intensity and anxiety makes our bodies produce adrenalin which juices or energizes us and we are restless and fidgety. Furthermore, being silent can be scary because our minds are moving really fast and with rapid thoughts can come anxiety. Silence is essentially a discipline that has to be practiced . . . and practiced . . . and practiced because you think it holds something for you.
Forgive me for sounding like the late Henri Nouwen, but when I sit silently, I take some control of the moment. Some level of calmness happens. I feel the tension in my back and arms that I had not been in touch with because of my busyness and preoccupation and I can do something about it. I can also think spiritual or mystical thoughts or pray a different kind of prayer. I can be in the moment. I can focus.
Being in Touch with Ourselves.
I think in the rush of the holiday, taking time to be silent and ask ourselves where our heads are can be of great benefit. But it can also be a risk. The answers to the question are not always pleasant because we might think about the pain, the grief, the loss, the regrets, and the 'what could have been's." But it takes risk to make gains.
Where is my head now? Hopefully in a more peaceful place than it was earlier in the day.
Tonight we put up the Christmas tree. I was tired as I rooted around the attic in my garage looking for the plastic tubs. I put up the crumpled, artificial Christmas tree and did my best to get the lights hooked up. I found myself feeling apathy because I did not care to look in the tubs at the different ornaments we had. I found myself saying : at least the kids were enjoying it.
As I reflect tonight, I find myself doing a Zig Ziglar "check-up from the neck-up." I have said to myself: "Where is your head."
As I have noted elsewhere the pace of life for the average person in the western hemisphere is intense and hectic. It is especially so for those living in urban areas. We spend a lot of time commuting in cramped subways, trains and buses or we are stuck in heavy traffic. We are pressured to do more with less at our jobs. We have information coming at us from all directions that requires our response. We get worn out and burned out and many of us value the weekend to get caught up on our personal matters and business. Our heads are often tired from all of the intensity.
Then let us top if off with all of the holiday events and expectations. We have to spend money on gifts to show we care. We have to go to Christmas events to be sociable. Combine the additional holiday stuff with our usual intense life and we are overwhelmed and probably think that going back to bed sounds even more attractive.
Let us kick it up another notch. What if you are not feeling particularly joyful and happy this Christmas due to grief or loss? What if you are feeling the guilt because your money and credit is tight and you cannot buy the type of presents the way you want to? Going back to bed sounds even more attractive but it is not exactly a healthy coping skill.
Silence
In light of that, one of my favorite coping skills or coping activities in this time of year is sitting in silence and doing nothing. While it does not solve the problems, I have found that a time of silence and stillness can be soothing.
The problem is that it requires you to actually sit and be still. Sitting still can be a challenge because the intensity and anxiety makes our bodies produce adrenalin which juices or energizes us and we are restless and fidgety. Furthermore, being silent can be scary because our minds are moving really fast and with rapid thoughts can come anxiety. Silence is essentially a discipline that has to be practiced . . . and practiced . . . and practiced because you think it holds something for you.
Forgive me for sounding like the late Henri Nouwen, but when I sit silently, I take some control of the moment. Some level of calmness happens. I feel the tension in my back and arms that I had not been in touch with because of my busyness and preoccupation and I can do something about it. I can also think spiritual or mystical thoughts or pray a different kind of prayer. I can be in the moment. I can focus.
Being in Touch with Ourselves.
I think in the rush of the holiday, taking time to be silent and ask ourselves where our heads are can be of great benefit. But it can also be a risk. The answers to the question are not always pleasant because we might think about the pain, the grief, the loss, the regrets, and the 'what could have been's." But it takes risk to make gains.
Where is my head now? Hopefully in a more peaceful place than it was earlier in the day.
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