Like many others I have been pondering the year ahead and the year that is ending. I have seen that as I get older, I see more nuances, gray areas, and more potential pitfalls. With all of the nuances and gray areas, we can drive ourselves silly.
There were changes in the past year and there will be changes in the coming year. We had some good changes and some bad changes in the past year. What will blind-side us and what will pleasantly surprise us?
General Changes
As I get older, I realize that the biggest change is "style." What is popular and what is in fashion is going to change. The more it changes, the older we are going to feel.
Some people try to act younger by wearing younger fashions and taking on the current look. However, it seems that it is quite unbecoming when a 53-year-old white male college professor goes out and gets a pierced ear. There is something about not embracing age and dignity that speaks volumes about character or the lack thereof.
I especially feel old when my son asked me what 2 Legit To Quit meant and who Hammer was as we were watching the New Year's Rockin' Eve tonight. Growing old does mean experiencing a different world because our culture is changing with the new fashion that is not meant for us but the younger folk and we may feel out of place.
Successes and Disappointments
Besides experiencing the culture change, we will find ourselves having successes and disappointments. Life is a series of successes and disappointments. We can look back in our memories in a nanosecond and remember the would-have's, could-have's, and should-have's. We also may not be where we expected to be in our careers, our retirement savings, or in our accumulation of wealth.
Some of the disappointments are very real. Some of the disappointments have been due to the oppressive unfairness of others. Some of the disappointments are from the out-and-out abuse from people in power. Some of the disappointments have been due to coincidence. Some of the disappointments are just unexplainable as to what caused them.
Some of the disappointments are out-and-out failure. We fail. People fail. Everyone fails. Failure hurts.
We will feel guilty, sad and/or mad with the disappointments. It is a fact of life that we will have strong feelings when significant disappointments happen. How we get through them is up to us.
The reality of coping with disappointments is that our lives cannot just be put on hold because of a disappointment. Even with big disappointments we have to move on in some fashion. Sometimes the disappointments move us in better directions.
On the other hand, we will have successes. We will get some things that are good. Some of them will be gifts, and some of them will be successes we earned. We will feel good and pleased. Sometimes the failure helps us be successful.
Not all of the successes will be spectacular. In fact it seems that most of our successes are small and our larger successes are combinations of smaller successes. Many times it takes work to recognize our successes when we have made a habit of dwelling on disappointments.
Being Grounded
Accepting the change and disappointment is not always easy. Sometimes we are prepared and sometimes we are slapped silly. Also, how much we cherish what we stand to lose plays into the difficult or ease of handling the change.
I cannot begin to go into the different kinds of changes. There are so many possible changes we can experience.
As I look at 2012, I have seen the change of losing my 101-year-old grandmother. As I look ahead I see the changes of my father-in-law being diagnosed with cancer, and my wife's paternal grandmother continuing to decline into that long evening of Dementia of the Alzheimer's type. I see life taking on more and more complexity with different kinds of emotions that are hard to explain and cope with.
In a more global sense, there have been deaths. There have been a number of massacres and then some of my favorite celebrities have died in 2012. I figure that celebrities and notables will die and there may be a few more massacres.
As I think about my coping with the changes, I have decided that it has been a matter of having a good emotional and spiritual grounding. Grounding helps us weather the storms of life and the various changes.
Working on being grounded is a personal responsibility. We ground ourselves by cultivating healthy relationships. We ground ourselves by holding on to what we hide in our hearts. We ground ourselves by pursuing what is meaningful and fulfilling to us. We also ground ourselves by creating resources and saving resources.
Lastly, being grounded means looking at what you can do versus overly-focused on what you cannot do. For all of us, there is so much that we cannot do because we are limited human beings. There have been, there are, and there will be tragedies happening around us that we cannot only see and will be helpless to prevent.
Closing Thoughts
As we leave another holiday season and go into another cycle of a year's time, we do not absolutely know what is to happen. But I am that thinking sanely is being sure that much of the past will repeat itself. Hopefully we have learned lessons and have grounded ourselves. It is part of our experience and maybe how many of us will realize our gained wisdom and experience.
There were changes in the past year and there will be changes in the coming year. We had some good changes and some bad changes in the past year. What will blind-side us and what will pleasantly surprise us?
General Changes
As I get older, I realize that the biggest change is "style." What is popular and what is in fashion is going to change. The more it changes, the older we are going to feel.
Some people try to act younger by wearing younger fashions and taking on the current look. However, it seems that it is quite unbecoming when a 53-year-old white male college professor goes out and gets a pierced ear. There is something about not embracing age and dignity that speaks volumes about character or the lack thereof.
I especially feel old when my son asked me what 2 Legit To Quit meant and who Hammer was as we were watching the New Year's Rockin' Eve tonight. Growing old does mean experiencing a different world because our culture is changing with the new fashion that is not meant for us but the younger folk and we may feel out of place.
Successes and Disappointments
Besides experiencing the culture change, we will find ourselves having successes and disappointments. Life is a series of successes and disappointments. We can look back in our memories in a nanosecond and remember the would-have's, could-have's, and should-have's. We also may not be where we expected to be in our careers, our retirement savings, or in our accumulation of wealth.
Some of the disappointments are very real. Some of the disappointments have been due to the oppressive unfairness of others. Some of the disappointments are from the out-and-out abuse from people in power. Some of the disappointments have been due to coincidence. Some of the disappointments are just unexplainable as to what caused them.
Some of the disappointments are out-and-out failure. We fail. People fail. Everyone fails. Failure hurts.
We will feel guilty, sad and/or mad with the disappointments. It is a fact of life that we will have strong feelings when significant disappointments happen. How we get through them is up to us.
The reality of coping with disappointments is that our lives cannot just be put on hold because of a disappointment. Even with big disappointments we have to move on in some fashion. Sometimes the disappointments move us in better directions.
On the other hand, we will have successes. We will get some things that are good. Some of them will be gifts, and some of them will be successes we earned. We will feel good and pleased. Sometimes the failure helps us be successful.
Not all of the successes will be spectacular. In fact it seems that most of our successes are small and our larger successes are combinations of smaller successes. Many times it takes work to recognize our successes when we have made a habit of dwelling on disappointments.
Being Grounded
Accepting the change and disappointment is not always easy. Sometimes we are prepared and sometimes we are slapped silly. Also, how much we cherish what we stand to lose plays into the difficult or ease of handling the change.
I cannot begin to go into the different kinds of changes. There are so many possible changes we can experience.
As I look at 2012, I have seen the change of losing my 101-year-old grandmother. As I look ahead I see the changes of my father-in-law being diagnosed with cancer, and my wife's paternal grandmother continuing to decline into that long evening of Dementia of the Alzheimer's type. I see life taking on more and more complexity with different kinds of emotions that are hard to explain and cope with.
In a more global sense, there have been deaths. There have been a number of massacres and then some of my favorite celebrities have died in 2012. I figure that celebrities and notables will die and there may be a few more massacres.
As I think about my coping with the changes, I have decided that it has been a matter of having a good emotional and spiritual grounding. Grounding helps us weather the storms of life and the various changes.
Working on being grounded is a personal responsibility. We ground ourselves by cultivating healthy relationships. We ground ourselves by holding on to what we hide in our hearts. We ground ourselves by pursuing what is meaningful and fulfilling to us. We also ground ourselves by creating resources and saving resources.
Lastly, being grounded means looking at what you can do versus overly-focused on what you cannot do. For all of us, there is so much that we cannot do because we are limited human beings. There have been, there are, and there will be tragedies happening around us that we cannot only see and will be helpless to prevent.
Closing Thoughts
As we leave another holiday season and go into another cycle of a year's time, we do not absolutely know what is to happen. But I am that thinking sanely is being sure that much of the past will repeat itself. Hopefully we have learned lessons and have grounded ourselves. It is part of our experience and maybe how many of us will realize our gained wisdom and experience.
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