I have written about family dysfunction before in this blog,
and you are invited to go back and read previous entries. I think that we do grieve that some of our
families are so screwed up.
I have thought that some people I know sugar-coat how great their Christmas is, and maybe they do. Some of the people we know are pretentious and good liars. However, they are reporting that they are having a good Christmas, and for those of us, whose Christmas is going to be lonely or marginal, we are still going to have our sad feelings.
To me when faith is removed from Christmas, it becomes incredibly empty and meaningless. If gathering with a bunch of irritable and dysfunctional people is the end-all of Christmas, then we should probably cancel it . . . but that is not going to happen because of how many national economies depend on retail sales of gifts.
Family Dysfunction in the "Holy Family"
Now, I have tried to keep things secular in this blog because I wanted to help the broadest possible audience, but I am hoping to give you a new appreciation for the essence of the Christmas story.
Anyway, Matthew 1 1-16 is genealogical listing of Jesus’ family tree all the way back to Adam. I did not do so great in Robert Stein’s Gospels class at Bethel Seminary, but I at least learned that the audience of this book is a Jewish one with lots of references to Old Testament prophecy arguing that Jesus fulfilled them.
The genealogy speaks to a Jewish audience since that was important to them.
Furthermore, when you look at how Jesus was conceived and born in Matthew 1:18-25, it was not ideal and Joseph wanted to divorce Mary. He at least listened to the angel of the Lord in the dream and in faith took Mary as his wife and followed through.
As children we did not think about the adult undertones of the Christmas story. It was all about Away in a Manger and Hark the Herald Angels Sing and Silent Night. Then it is about Santa Claus and presents and a break from school. As adults we grow cynical and empty.
That brings us back to today. There are nine more shopping days until Christmas. There is a sense of drivenness that stuff that must get done. Being driven is not always bad, but it can become empty after awhile.
We are being driven to a time when all the stores are supposed to be closed on December 24 and many of us are going to be stuck alone or with some people who are not going to be pleasant to be with. Or we are going to lament being alone because the people we would otherwise be with are just plain miserable and lead to headaches (we made the better choice to be alone than to be stuck with those miserable souls).
The story of Jesus coming to earth is wrapped in family dysfunction and fallible humanity. It is not really the elegant story that is portrayed in a service of lessons and carols or in the Advent wreath. It is a real gritty story that touches us where we live.
We live in a world of pain and heartache. We have many feelings that we must stuff and move ahead because reality dictates that feelings do not pay the bills. We suffer through the ongoing anger and hurt from things that should have been different. We open up the grief again and again that people have failed us and that we failed others and ourselves.
We grieve that we have immature relatives that will throw tantrums at the slightest trigger. It is down right impossible to identify these triggers because for an immature person anything can be a trigger. Many of us have tried to walk on eggshells around these relatives to try and not make them angry only to feel like failures. If these immature family members were strangers, we would have avoided them a long time ago because they give us no other motivation to bond with them.
According to the Bible Jesus came to earth in a dysfunctional life situation and died for our sins. The prophet Isaiah foretold his emotional, physical, and mental lot . . .
He was despised and
rejected by mankind,
Should this make your holiday all better? No. But I hope that it will make your holiday more meaningful to look underneath the Christmas songs you have probably heard for the 200th time and the 100th Christmas cookie or piece of candy you have eaten.
We hear other people talk about how great their family
gatherings are. We hear that they gather
together at Christmas. We feel envious that our holiday is not going to be that
great.
I have thought that some people I know sugar-coat how great their Christmas is, and maybe they do. Some of the people we know are pretentious and good liars. However, they are reporting that they are having a good Christmas, and for those of us, whose Christmas is going to be lonely or marginal, we are still going to have our sad feelings.
To me when faith is removed from Christmas, it becomes incredibly empty and meaningless. If gathering with a bunch of irritable and dysfunctional people is the end-all of Christmas, then we should probably cancel it . . . but that is not going to happen because of how many national economies depend on retail sales of gifts.
Family Dysfunction in the "Holy Family"
The idea here in this entry is not entirely my own, but it
has made me feel at least a sense of meaning and connection with my faith today
in addition a new appreciation for Matthew 1 in the New Testament of the Bible.
Now, I have tried to keep things secular in this blog because I wanted to help the broadest possible audience, but I am hoping to give you a new appreciation for the essence of the Christmas story.
Anyway, Matthew 1 1-16 is genealogical listing of Jesus’ family tree all the way back to Adam. I did not do so great in Robert Stein’s Gospels class at Bethel Seminary, but I at least learned that the audience of this book is a Jewish one with lots of references to Old Testament prophecy arguing that Jesus fulfilled them.
The genealogy speaks to a Jewish audience since that was important to them.
Within Jesus’ genealogy, there are indications that his
family had black sheep and imperfection.
There are three women named, and two of them were of ill-reputation:
Rahab and Bathsheba. Rahab was a
prostitute in Jericho
Furthermore, when you look at how Jesus was conceived and born in Matthew 1:18-25, it was not ideal and Joseph wanted to divorce Mary. He at least listened to the angel of the Lord in the dream and in faith took Mary as his wife and followed through.
As children we did not think about the adult undertones of the Christmas story. It was all about Away in a Manger and Hark the Herald Angels Sing and Silent Night. Then it is about Santa Claus and presents and a break from school. As adults we grow cynical and empty.
The Meaning for Us
That brings us back to today. There are nine more shopping days until Christmas. There is a sense of drivenness that stuff that must get done. Being driven is not always bad, but it can become empty after awhile.
We are being driven to a time when all the stores are supposed to be closed on December 24 and many of us are going to be stuck alone or with some people who are not going to be pleasant to be with. Or we are going to lament being alone because the people we would otherwise be with are just plain miserable and lead to headaches (we made the better choice to be alone than to be stuck with those miserable souls).
The story of Jesus coming to earth is wrapped in family dysfunction and fallible humanity. It is not really the elegant story that is portrayed in a service of lessons and carols or in the Advent wreath. It is a real gritty story that touches us where we live.
We live in a world of pain and heartache. We have many feelings that we must stuff and move ahead because reality dictates that feelings do not pay the bills. We suffer through the ongoing anger and hurt from things that should have been different. We open up the grief again and again that people have failed us and that we failed others and ourselves.
We grieve that we have immature relatives that will throw tantrums at the slightest trigger. It is down right impossible to identify these triggers because for an immature person anything can be a trigger. Many of us have tried to walk on eggshells around these relatives to try and not make them angry only to feel like failures. If these immature family members were strangers, we would have avoided them a long time ago because they give us no other motivation to bond with them.
According to the Bible Jesus came to earth in a dysfunctional life situation and died for our sins. The prophet Isaiah foretold his emotional, physical, and mental lot . . .
Who has believed our
message
and to whom has the arm of the Lord been
revealed?
He grew up before him
like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or
majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should
desire him.
a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom
people hide their faces
he was despised, and we held him in low
esteem.
(Isaiah 53: 1-3 New International Version)
We need meaning.
Meaning helps us cope. Meaning
helps us get though. Families are
supposed to give us meaning through togetherness and acceptance, but when that
doesn’t happen due to the dysfunction, the original message of Christmas can
give us that meaning. The savior who came knows what it is like to suffer like we suffer.
Should this make your holiday all better? No. But I hope that it will make your holiday more meaningful to look underneath the Christmas songs you have probably heard for the 200th time and the 100th Christmas cookie or piece of candy you have eaten.
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